Truth or Consequences

Building on a comment from a previous post...  I believe firmly in truth.  And if I don't get it or give it, I believe firmly in manning up and taking your lumps.  I try to give and I expect truth from everyone in my life; I am often disappointed.

I've always told those around me...  "Tell me the truth up front no matter how much it sucks because I may get pissed but I'll work through it and I'll get over it; if you lie to me and I find out, though, I'll be WAY more pissed and you'll have a FAR bigger problem on your hands (and we always seem to find out, don't we?)."

Funny thing about that?  In my teens I was an aaaaMAAAAAZING liar!  Lie about anything.  Color of the sky, whether I'd brushed my teeth, whether I'd walked or run home...  you name it.  In our household were my mother, me and my younger brother and sister and, looking at a snippet of time when I was about 14 and my brother and sister were ages 4 and 1, here's how it'd go...

MOM:  "Sarah, where are my tan corduroys and my white banded collar top?"  ME:  (indignant, of course)  "I don't know, why would I know??"
MOM:  "Because they're not in my drawers, they were yesterday, you've worn other clothing of mine, I haven't worn them and no one else in the house would!"
ME:  (totally pissy now) "Well I don't knooooow, Mooootheerrrr, I wouldn't wear your stuff anyway, I don't like it!"  (yes, totally ignoring the fact I'd been previously busted)
MOM:  "Well who WOULD then?!"
ME:  "I saaaaid I don't knooooow...  maybe Ren or Jen did something with them!!!  Why are you always accusing me?!!"  (sheauuh, riiiight...  what the hell was I THINKing?!)

This back and forth, I'm sorry to say, was often daily and how my mother kept from putting me in a sack and dropping me in the closest river, I'll never know.

::sigh::

The silver lining?  I developed an intolerance for my own bullshit...  good thing since I have ZERO tolerance for it from anyone else...

This intolerance applies, too, in the case of omitting or dissembling...  all too often (usually in the midst of a problem over information not divulged) I've had people say to me, "I thought you knew ABC...", "No, why would I know...?", "Well because I said XYZ."  Nope.  Didn't have a clue and there's no reason I should.  In my universe, if you mean ABC, you say ABC.  I try to so I assume everyone else does; I'm not a between-the-lines- or mind-reader and I take things said to me at point-blank, face value.

Truth:  IF you say to me "I can't wait for you to get the hell out of my truck!", I take you at your word...

Consequence:  I will-by-God-get-the-hell-outta-your-truck, maybe out of your life, and I will NOT understand that you didn't reeeeally mean for me to get the hell out of either.

Truth:  IF you tell me you don't like drama, can't stand lies and would never tolerate cheating, it will not occur to me you might dabble in any of the three...
Consequence:  I will be utterly shocked and rocked to the core when you create the drama, lie through your teeth and exchange sexts with your 20's-something-cousin's-wife and I will never fully forgive or forget, bank on it.

The converse is also true, of course...

Truth:  If I say "I've daydreamed about having more kids.", I do not mean "I want you to be my sperm donor or adoption partner.", but only that I imagine scenarios in my life same as anyone.  If I grouse that "I've paid all my bills and I'm a little tight.", I'm not saying "Hey Boyfriend, hand me some money," because I'm proud I can pay my own bills and still provide a descent home for my son and I really just need to grouse and have you sympathize because some days are better than others.  If I say "I'm not mad that you'll miss my friend's wedding because you didn't ask off in time but my feelings are hurt so let me deal and I'll get over it.", I don't mean I'm secretly pissed, I really do mean I'm not mad, my feelings are hurt, I'll deal and get over it.
Consequence:  If you try to read between my lines, you will be wrong and there will be misunderstandings and probably some arguments.

And the final truth is, the consequence will ultimately be your failure in my universe.