Working my way back up...

Don't say "There's still time..."
Or "Maybe next time..."
Because there's also the concept of "It's too late."

Fuckin'fuck.  I'm doomed.

I believe it's out there.  I trust it's out there.  But I am convinced I am the only person in the world who it isn't true for.

I've opened the soft mooshy part with the last two - HYOOOOGE step on my part - to varying degrees...  one I was just beginning to let it show, the other, I was full on invested and even bought a deeply emotional V-day card which I haven't done in easily 20 years...

Torpedo'd.  The bothuvems.

I feel young.  Ish.  I know I'm 47, not 87. 

Head:

"There's still time to find it..."

"Maybe next time will be it..."

Heart:

"Fuckin'fuck.  I'm doomed.  It's too late."

Welcome to my universe.