Revolutions...

I just have never..." ~Neo

"Heard a program speak of love?" ~Rama-Kandra

"It's a... human emotion." ~Neo

"No, it is a word. What matters is the connection the word implies. I see that you are in love. Can you tell me what you would give to hold on to that connection?" ~Rama-Kandra

"Anything." ~Neo

Simply stated, this is what every human wants, I think. 

What I can't fathom is...  we all seem to want that amazing connection but so often are just flat unwilling to do the work to achieve it...  to hold onto that connection...

To quote a friend "Some [people] see beneath the surface and love that aspect of connecting mentally. Others just want to touch the surface."

Yep, because to see beneath the surface and connect mentally takes effort, dedication, purpose...  touching the surface, not so much.  But the reward...  man, oh MAN...  our folks always told us anything worth doing is worth doing right...  right?  So the reward has got to be amazing for the effort, right??

I've spent so much time in relationships that never connected it's sad, really...  I appreciate that I learned from each one and I wouldn't trade the experience, but the time invested was not always positive or productive...  the first one was because I was young and didn't think I had anywhere to go and was too inexperienced, insecure and just plain scared to try to stand on my own; the second was because I was pregnant & depressed and thought it would be stability for my daughter and unborn baby; the third was because he had doubts, I walked away, he didn't want anyone else playing with his 'toy' and came back, and I 'won'.  Didn't I?  Um.  And those were the ones I made legal...  the last one was 5 years.  I was totally committed.  May as well have had the paper but wasn't sure I'd ever do that again.  Net, net...  same result...  it was, again, for the wrong reasons.  And each one had the same thread...  I thought I could change them...  fix them...  save them...  and there was ultimately no connection.  ::sigh::

So these days, the whole subject of love and connection fascinates me in a way it never has before...  is it my age?  My 'experience'?  Desperation?  ;)  Over the last couple of years I've done some soul-searching, some introspection, some working on me...  I've looked at my past motivations...  I've looked at what I rationally want and expect from a partner.  I've realized that to settle because something is comfortable and safe is not where I want to be ever again because while comfort is wonderful, boredom is inexcusable...

Boredom means lack of connection...

A conversation with another friend wrestling with connecting had each of us defining what it is to be a savior versus a 'fixer'.  I think we're both fixers.  He feels he's more a savior. 

savior - a person who saves, rescues or delivers (from harm)...
fixer - a person who desires to fix, rescue or support something/someone that's broken...

I think it's essentially the same.

And on inspection, I think rationally what we really want is to be and have a partner...

partner - a person who is associated with another in some action or endeavor; a player on the same side or team as another...

His thoughts on partnership hit it on the head and I'll paraphrase...  [we all seem to want] a partnership so strong neither can imagine it being any other way... where not being together is unthinkable... and I'll add, one in which it cannot be imagined that any aspect of your life good and/or bad happens without the other a part of it, sharing it.  Seeing beneath the surface and connecting...  love...  the connection that the word implies... 

To make that deep, meaningful, can't-exist-without-you connection...  to see beneath the surface and connect mentally...  to make the effort, have the dedication, have the purpose...  because the reward...  man, oh MAN...  to be joined together in the endeavor...  to be on the same side as another...  to do it right because it's worth it...  to connect, to protect, to be protected...  amazing reward...  that's what I want in my universe.