Sex, Lies and Headlocks...

(This entry was gonna be about something other than what it's morphed into and it was gonna be called Sex, Lies and Videotape...  but when I Googled the title to confirm whether there was an 's' on the end of Videotape or not, I found there's actually a book by the title I'm using and it somehow seemed more fitting...)

OMG!  There's a full moon and with it apparently come naked penis cell pictures and utter instanity.

Naked penis cell pics...  like skeezy little business cards, if you will...  harbingers of ill, bearers of bad feeling... 

Maybe you've gotten one from someone you've met casually who asked for your number, you get a text, flip your phone open and VIOLA!  Jim Dandy's Yankee Doodle staring back at you with a caption to "Call me!".  Or maybe someone you already know in some capacity does it...  friend, co-worker, school mate...  'normal', conversational texting back and forth and then BAM!  Penis cam, anyone?!

::shudder::

SERIOUSLY??

And in expressing my incredulity at the phenom, two friends have told me it's 'normal' (aaaaand we're back to Doc Kyle using the word healthy because what passes for normal these days is inSANE!)!  One friend's my age and said he's had multiple women tell him they've received them...  randomly, new acquaintances, BOOM.  Another friend, nearly young enough to be my daughter so apparently it's not a generational thing, says yup...  she's gotten a handful as well (again, SO sorry about the pun).

Brain bleach and smacking the 'erase' button as fast as your little ham hands can hit the button are the short term solutions...  but what about the long term and what it says?  About him?  About you/her?

And THIS is where this blog's broken down...

It was going to be a deep introspective about how one of these beastly little skeezer-cards puts the recipient into a headlock of sorts;  held immobile by a brain-churn that takes way too much energy and time wondering what deeply rooted dysfunction it spells out about the sender and what the recipients reaction says about them...

But frankly, I've decided I just don't want to look at it that closely any more.  I've spent a week with this muddying my thoughts, trying to turn it over and examine it and find a way to loosen the headlock...

And all I've done is spent good energy after bad...

There is no explaining it, rationalizing it, making it anything other than what it is...  I think, instead, what I will do is simply vent and maybe point and laugh a little...  isn't that what you're supposed to do when someone flashes you?

Now I know that people in committed, romantic relationships do things like send pics of their naughty bits to their beloved and I'm not commenting pro or con on that topic...  but SERIOUSLY, what in the hell can make a mature adult commit said naughty bits to the infinite universe of 0's and 1's in megabytes and teleport them to a mere acquaintance or someone who's a friend/co-worker/school mate and think it's a good idea?  What about it says anything other than "Hi...  I'm a boorish, self-indulgent, unaware, disrespectful, adolescent.  And also, I'm in love with my winky."

You open an innocent text message expecting some mundane missive and what you get is something that sets your brain churning and leaves you feeling the need for a Silkwood-style scrub down...

EWW!  What'samatta, you?  Were you raised by wolves for crap sake?  You gonna hug your mama with the hands that did that?!

Oy!

I suppose if you've had a history of bad relationship choices, have insecurity and damage and are always seeking and wanting the wrong approval the wrong way, letting it drive you to do things you don't even care to do, then it's not to hard to imagine responding in whatever flirty/sexy way you think the sender's expecting.  I certainly know gals that would...

But it's equally easy to imagine ultimately being left feeling empty, disappointed, embarrassed and/or hurt when the crass reply comes back to that would inevitably follow... 

With the failures and insecurities that litter my life's path, I still very much want approval and love and support...  but what I also know is someone centered so squarely on their own indulgent wants that they would do something so questionable is NOT prepared to offer any of those things and I don't for a SECOND think that there is ANY sentiment behind something like that EXCEPT skeeze.  Hellooooooo, McFlyyyyyy...?!  Duh!

And you remember it too girls...  you're worth FAR more than responding in any way other than the one suggested by a friend...  "Wow, that's crass...  and classless...  all at the same time...", and it's SO important no matter how much forgiving and/or forgetting you're willing to do that you take a moment, rap on your own forehead Biff-style and see the real picture and KNOW, without a shred of doubt, if he sent it to you he's sending it to others.  Bank on it. 

And since, in my universe, there is only me and I don't always share well with others, I say slip the headlock and walk away...